Friday, October 31, 2003

I wonder if all those teachers in school that used to tell me my writing was good just gave false praise. Or was I good back then? And if I was good why and when did I lose this ability to write? Why did I let it? I have ideas all the time for children's books; I am just having difficulty following through with them. I just don't believe I could get published or am good. Instead I take on too many projects at once and totally overwhelm myself. It is easier for me just to screw myself over then let someone else (yet again) say something is wrong with my work or me. Although it is taking forever to get the frame site up secretly I am glad it is; because another day can go by without someone saying "blech your frames sucks!" And although it is taking forever for me to finish one story without starting on another, it is another day where I won't receive a rejection letter in the mail. Just another day where I allow fear to take over. Just another day. But I guess that is part of the process and can't allow to pity myself for too long.

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